Discover how separation anxiety in children and teens presents during back-to-school and other times of the year. Learn how therapy helps, plus expert tips and advice for parents.
What Is Separation Anxiety in Children and Teens?
Separation anxiety isn’t just a phase — it’s a real emotional response that children and teens can experience when they are away from parents or caregivers. While it’s common in early childhood, it can also persist or develop during the school years and even into adolescence.
With the back-to-school season in full swing, many families notice increased signs of anxiety. However, separation anxiety isn’t limited to August and September — it can show up during holidays, sleepovers, travel, or transitions like starting a new activity or staying with another caregiver.
How Separation Anxiety Shows Up (Not Just at School)
Separation anxiety looks different at various ages. Here are common signs:
In Young Children:
- Crying or clinging at drop-off
- Refusing to go to school or daycare
- Nightmares about separation
- Physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches
In Tweens and Teens:
- Excessive worry about something bad happening to parents
- Frequent texts or calls to check in
- Avoiding social outings or school
- Trouble sleeping alone or being away overnight
Although it’s often triggered by back-to-school transitions, separation anxiety can occur any time of year, especially during:
- Vacations or holiday breaks
- Family changes (divorce, illness, moving)
- New experiences (camps, sleepovers, or after-school programs)
When Is It More Than Typical Anxiety?
Separation anxiety becomes a concern when it:
- Persists for more than 4 weeks
- Interferes with daily functioning
- Causes intense distress for the child or family
In these cases, the child may be dealing with Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD), a condition recognized by mental health professionals that may require therapy and support.
How Therapy Can Help with Separation Anxiety
Mental health therapy provides children and teens with a safe space to explore their fears and develop coping strategies. Therapy can help by:
- Identifying triggers and underlying causes
- Teaching emotional regulation and relaxation techniques
- Building confidence and independence
- Working with families to create supportive routines
Evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are especially effective in treating anxiety in children and adolescents.
Tips for Parents: Helping Your Child Cope with Separation Anxiety
- Validate Their Feelings
Let your child know their emotions are okay, and normalize the anxiety without minimizing it. - Practice Short Separations
Gradually build up your child’s confidence by starting with brief separations and increasing them over time. - Create Predictable Routines
Consistent morning and evening routines can help your child feel secure, especially during back-to-school transitions. - Use Calm Goodbyes
Keep farewells short and upbeat. Prolonged goodbyes can increase anxiety. - Avoid Rescue Patterns
Repeatedly picking up a child early or avoiding separation reinforces the fear. Instead, work with teachers or caregivers to support gradual adjustment. - Model Confidence
Children pick up on your emotional cues. Show them you trust they’ll be okay — even if they’re nervous. - Limit Reassurance Seeking
Encourage independence by setting boundaries on frequent calls or texts during the school day.
When to Seek Professional Help
If your child’s separation anxiety is disrupting school attendance, friendships, or family life, professional therapy may be the next step. Early intervention can prevent more serious anxiety disorders later on and help your child thrive socially and emotionally.
You’re Not Alone — Support Is Available
Separation anxiety can be tough on both kids and parents, but with the right support and strategies, children and teens can learn to face their fears and gain independence.
Need Help Navigating Separation Anxiety?
If your child is struggling with back-to-school stress or year-round anxiety, our child therapists are here to help.
Contact us today at 847-461-8414 to schedule a consultation and learn how therapy can support your child’s emotional well-being.